Day 2 - Anxiety Rising

I came home early from work yesterday to finish the preparations for the 35+ person party I was hosting for our staff team. I walked in the door around 4:20pm and by 4:25pm I had one of the kids on my heels. She was following me around the house so closely that I was sure we were going to end up in a collision. I love when my kids want to spend time with me. I love when my kids want to help. Neither of these things were actually what was occurring. This bumper to bumper following was driven by one thing - Access to Media. The questions were non-stop. "Can we watch TV during your party?"; "Why can't this end at the end of December?"; "Are we being punished?"; "Whhhhhhhhyyyyyy?"; "Do you think this is fair?". Then, the loop would begin again. It is with mixed emotions that I share that I lasted almost 25 minutes. Twenty five minutes of answering the loop. Over and over. Then, the mom got mad. Ever seen a mad mom? Not the yelling kind, the deeply quiet and super serious kind. Maybe the sentence, "I need you to stop asking me about this as if it is going to change." came out of my mouth. I also assigned a few more chores to help me, so that broke it up a little as she scampered off to take out the trash.

While kind of funny, I was also a little more worried than I had been the night before. The addiction and detox was real! Anxiety producing and tension creating. Watching it melt down in my kitchen made it all the more affirming that we are headed down the correct path. As I lay in bed last night, I started thinking a little more about it. The tension of the head and the heart. What is going to drive me as a parent, as a partner, as a volunteer, etc.? She was asking for the drive from her heart. I was remembering all the reasons we committed to this in the first place and responding from the head. 

We had the party to distract us all last night. Tonite will be the first night with all of us home together. Fingers crossed for some laughter and fun.