Day 3 - Bargaining

If there is one thing I know about, it is the stages of grief. Living through my own loss, accompanying others on their journey - this is an area I know well. Last night it occurred to me that I had been thinking about this all wrong. Perhaps it is not just an addiction to media input that we are suffering from. Perhaps it is more like saying goodbye to something you love.

In the beginning - total disbelief that the parental units would come up with and enforce such a ridiculous idea. By yesterday, we were fully settled into anger and tiptoeing into bargaining. One child settled on the sofa and lamented how hard/sad/impossible this was (once again). "What if we..." became the start of many a sentence. The emotion is quite real. Tears. Raised voice. Heated Words. All driving what were major concerns - negotiating how to talk to friends, how to know what is happening. It brought out our own personal version of the emojis above. There is a sincere sense of loss for the kids with this chance. I think a little less for the good doctor and I since we are still online while at work. And, we are wiser older and know that one can survive without all of this business. I haven't resorted to, "When I was your age..." yet - but there are still a lot of days to go.

The night ended with us trying to get both kids to laugh. I may have missed the mark when I offered, "You know, there is a chance that when we reconvene in January that we may decide that this is our new normal." Panic. Fear. Rage. Yup, that about sums it up.

As I had shared, I deleted the Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat apps from my phone. Four different times yesterday I reached for my phone to "check" something online. One was the name of a University where a friend works, one was to show a picture to a colleague, one was to look up the name of a business, and one to post yesterday's blog. Turns out, I am just as dependent as the kiddos. Ouch. That reality stung. Up side is that my regulation of emotion (so far) seems to be more age appropriate.

On a side note, one researcher identifies 7 Stages of Grief. I am only willing to acknowledge 5 so far... My soul can't take 2 more! (Oh, wait... Isn't that Denial?!?) Day 3 is a wrap.